In a galaxy bewilderingly far away, we present the definitive report:
Star Luminosity Quotient (SLQ), the singular measure of how brightly a star can pretend to shine amidst the dullness of cosmic solitude. The galaxy's grandiosity is often outpaced by an empty shell of spiraling dust.
Supernova After-party Attendance: Surprisingly low this quarter, following the controversial 'collapse' of Nova Billy. Speculation abounds.
Indeed, our predictive models suggest a curious increase in gravitational apathy, with black holes leading the way in fashionable mass retention.
Read the Full Consternation Report