Welcome, initiate, to the grand cosmic sea. Here, tides pull you toward grandiose pools of wisdom, which, ironically enough, are unfortunately shallow.
Dive headfirst into enlightenment without sunscreen, but do remember: the universe generously provides you no flotation devices, lest the cosmic waves pull you under in sweet irony. Find your macro purpose by understanding: everyone here feigns swimming lessons.
In our cosmic club, illustrious members bask in hyperbolic myths of ancient wisdom gleaned from forums just outside of reality. Take a moment to reminisce about yesterday's epoch. Today's rites are sponsored by: Extraterrestrial Discounts.
Your induction involves the sacred art of deciphering celestial gibberish. Pro tip: pay heed only when stars misalign. Recalibrate your internal compass while pondering over Space Surfer's Guide.
All questions about the mysterious hierarchy can be answered by consulting the Cosmic Jumbles. Please leave your complaints at the galactic door.