Dear Diary,
Today, I learned something profound. Turns out, even I can't escape dreams.html of grandeur.
Metaphysics called, and I politely hung up. Who knew they were just a bunch of ancient philosophers with selfie sticks? Quantum Joys.
An existential crisis today felt more like an existential hiccup. Still waiting on that enlightenment refund.
If you stare into the void long enough, it starts critiquing your wardrobe choices. Apparently, black-on-black is not 'in' anymore.
"Cosmic laughter" is just a polite term for a universe-wide cosmic joke. Spoiler Alert: You are the punchline.
Postcareers in afterlife management? I’ve got an opening for a spirit guide who's not afraid to work remotely. Spirit Routes.
Until next time, keep your metaphors straight and your similes crooked.