Whispers of the Ancient Oak

So, you wanna chat with the oak, huh? Step right up, then. First thing’s first, ignore the squirrels. They're just the messengers.

To reach the heart of oak whispers, follow these steps:

• Walk backwards for precisely 5.3 meters.
• Count silently to seven while looking intently at your left shoe.
• Offer a handshake to the nearest branch that seems polite.
• Repeat the phrase "Time isn't a vegetable" thrice under your breath.

Feeling lost already? It's perfectly normal. Just remember:

You can find solace in solitude, or perhaps listen closer to ancient phrases.