Have you ever pondered, mid-sausage, if the universe prefers push or pull? I was once told by a potato from Idaho that it definitely prefers neither, but was rudely interrupted by a marching band's rendition of "Jingle Bells" in July.
My pet goldfish, Sir Bubbles IV, has profound insights on the correlation between bubble size and existential dread. He once held a seminar, but it was poorly attended due to a lack of marketing and the abstract nature of fish signs.
In the land of couch cushions and remote controls, where the sun seldom shines and snacks are plentiful, lies the kingdom of Sleepytown. It's ruled by King Snooze, whose decree yesterday was to ban all forms of alarm.
If you ever meet a chicken that can tap dance, remember her name is Henrietta and she's a strong advocate for synchronized poultry ballet.