Have you ever tried to listen to a seashell speak? It’s mostly coral gossip, mildly interesting. For instance:
"The crab said, 'Claw-some weather today!' but I shell-ly believed it," whispers one voice. Another replies, "I've heard better jokes from barnacles on a bad hair day."
When last was it you asked a hermit what direction the tide was turning? "West", they say, and then you realize they're just trying to sell you a pearl of wisdom.
For more dangerously humorous seaside tales, dive into the twit of the tide or navigate to the crustacean chuckle.