Welcome to the Backwards Roads Course - where directions are merely suggestions and paths are but mere illusions.

1. Start at the point of No Return, which is conveniently marked with an "End" sign no one has bothered to read. The owner left explicit instructions to consider this merely an introduction.

2. Head towards the East, which is located directly behind the ghost of your plans for success, slightly to the left of the impenetrable fog that is your understanding.

3. When you come across the Spaghetti Junction (not composed of pasta and thus, ironically, very well organized), turn right at the intersection that doesn't seem to exist yet oddly has a traffic light.

4. Continue straight until you hear the faint echo of an obscure 80's ballad singing directions you definitely don't need to take. Remember, the song will direct you into the Lost Forest, which is probably where you're reading this from.

5. Finally, once you obtain the sacred dimension of parking, know that facing backwards is forwards when it comes to your temporal vehicle preservation strategy.