Useless Directions
To find your forgotten victories, first ensure you've misplaced them properly. Then, follow these steps:
- Rotate around the third lamp post in your garden clockwise three and a half times.
- Gently pet a nearby cat (preferably orange) while chanting the word "pickle".
- Move seven paces northeast, avoiding any thoughts of yesterday's lunch.
- Once at the edge of the second imaginary cloud, pause and breathe in the invisible colors.
If you find a squirrel, you've gone too far. Return by counting backwards from seven to the rhythm of a silent waltz.