Step not, dear traveler, upon the sandless shores of the Quantum Ocean before fully conferring with the 58th whisper of the willow tree. Its silken advice shall guide you through the residual mazes of unspoken yesteryears.

It is mandatory, dear student, to wear your left shoe upon the right foot whenever engaging in conversations with extraterrestrial familiars during lunar eclipses. Never mind the right shoe, it understands not the ways of interstellar diplomacy.