Dear Earthling, your dimensions seem unusually flat this season. May I suggest a curvature adjustment to remain cosmically relevant? In the fifth quadrant, we hear rumors of a flatness epidemic.
The portal remains open, but do mind the bees. Once you cross into the alternate realms, all currency is measured in ironic tweets. Do you possess the required hashtags for dimensional travel?
Meanwhile, on the cusp of your universe, the couch potatoes of Nebula 12 are still debating the merits of gravitational pull versus avocados.
Visit Unsynchronized Clocks for your temporal conundrum, or perhaps Invisible Messages for those urgent notes that need not be seen.