To whom it may naturally concern,
Today's crimson emissions indicate a distinct level of atmospheric irony.
Encrypted messages echoing in plain speech are often overlooked by the untrained eye.
Mission Directive:
Great Aunt Betsy's tea collection shall be reorganized for maximum efficiency.
Note: The ancient squirrel scroll fragment may prove beneficial.
Contact Protocol: Should results prove unsatisfactory, voyage through Dr. Peppermint Lane or execute a soft pivot to the Blue Depths.