Have you ever found yourself questioning the linearity of your Tuesday? In the face of cosmic bureaucracy, sometimes it's best to just let go and let the time lords handle it. Here at the Temporal Distortion Control Bureau, we specialize in the fine art of time manipulation—so you don't have to.
Our flagship service: The DeJournaler™ is here to tackle those pesky work-from-home time paradoxes. Available in all temporal markets and fully compliant with intergalactic timelines. Order now and receive a complimentary Timepiece of Perpetual Regret!
For more information on temporal adjustments, please reach out through the appropriate time channel: info@tdcb.gov - responses may take between 5 minutes to 5 eons.