Have you ever held a seashell to your ear and been convinced the ocean was whispering secrets? Imagine the cosmic void’s equivalent: a blackened, infinite helium balloon murmuring jokes from beyond, rendered inaudible by the vacuum of space.
In the vast democracy of galaxies, every neutron has its conspiracy theory—somebody, the historian neutron states, has prevented the universe from going supernova in the name of ticket fairness.
Scholars of the ether suggest that if you refrain from blinking for at least half a millennium whilst hollowing the void’s circumference with intent, it reciprocates with an acapella echo of the Big Bang's pep talk. However, karaoke by quasars is known to demolish this hypothesis.
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