Chair: Let me just say, by the end of the day, the stuff I see is downright scandalous. People flop down and forget they're not alone; you should see how they adjust their socks and whatnot.
Book: You've read my pages, haven't you? Well, I know your secrets better than you think. Some of those chapters are labeled with your name at midnight.
Table Lamp: It's hard being the spotlight of the room, but I've seen so many arguments turned into whispers under my glow. Dimly lit wishes, they call them. I just call them riveting gossip!
Fridge: Oh buddy, nobody opens up to me like they do when the kitchen's quiet. Leftover confessions and midnight snack stories are the best! You NEVER guess who the butter’s been spreading things with...