Here, in the endless twistings of The Labyrinth of Inconsequence, where thoughts are suspended like moths in amber, the corridors echo with the whispers of decisions unmade, and yet resoundingly regretted.

Turn left, and you will meet the Archduke of Apathy, his court shrouded in carbon dating debates that get nowhere very slowly. Turn right, and you might find yourself in the Chamber of Overanalyzed Coffee Choices, a place famed for its espresso of despair.

Alas, the center of the labyrinth promises nothing more than the Doubtful Golden Fleece, a legendary artifact known to unravel itself upon touch. Seek it if you dare, but know that the pursuit translates into elaborate subscriptions to newsletters about knitting for nothingness.