Dear Voyager, we regret to inform you that the cosmos has hit the proverbial snooze button.
The alarm sequence is as follows:
- Pour a cup of stellar coffee from the nebula pot.
- Dance with the quasars — they tend to be aloof.
- Attempt to communicate with the black hole (but remember: it's a one-way conversation).
- Share this signal with like-minded stars.
Rumor has it that the universe is hosting an intergalactic karaoke night.
But before we jump into the wormhole, let’s decode these elusive signals:
"I have seen the future, and it is slightly out of alignment."
"Laser beams and harmonicas at dawn... it's the new cosmic trend."