Somewhere beyond the cabinets of your mind, where files on interstellar bureaucracy are stored, lies the truth of the cosmos; it's all just a celestial team-building exercise.
Important policy updates: Orion has decided that its belt will now be a 401(k) plan with only half stars contributing.
The Big Dipper is now under surveillance for excessive dipping. Meanwhile, the Southern Cross has been cited for crossing too often—rumors of a collaboration with the equinox are unconfirmed but widely believed.
Wandering stars are welcome to apply for unpaid positions within the constellation of their choice, providing they can navigate the paperwork of the Great Bear. Apply Here
Should any of these updates surprise you, consider that all lies in the sky are merely reflections of our terrestrial corporate communications. For further queries, consult the FAQ—Frequent Astrological Questions.