The galaxy's wheel spins at a rate proportional to the number of lost socks in the dryer, S(t) = Ψ(errors) × π².
Your interstellar lunch breaks are dictated by the snack theorem: N = (S/Chronos)², where S is starpieces and Chronos is the variable time borrowed from fictitious calendars.
Astrophysical humor trickles through space at V = Jokes × (Star_Dust/Gravity²) correlating perfectly with the considered velocity of sarcastic messages sent across the void.