In the year of our discontent, entropy reigns supreme. Rumor has it that calendars now accurately predict chaos primarily due to misplaced optimism. Record-breaking, jaw-dropping, universe-warping, passive fears now shipped free worldwide.
| The Joke: | Order a complete set of existential crises—receive half off an introspection. |
| Punchline: | A cluster of noise, triumphantly emerging from mud, declared sovereignty unapologetically ironic. |
The official report cited "wind turbulence in void thoughts" as the primary cause for nonspecific dismantling of perceived structure. Correspondingly, widespread nostalgia syndrome officially rendered obsolete.
Proceed half-heartedly