Greetings, esteemed traveller of the cosmic paths! You have stumbled upon the Unforeseen Root Office, where letters from triple-parallel universes converge.
To: Mr. Felinous Scratch, Planet ZibberJib
Message: Dear Sir, we regret to inform you that your application to the Intergalactic Feline Governance has been declined due to excessive scratching and napping references. Kindly consider attending our "Stay Awake While Stretching" seminars.
To: Captain Obvious, Dimension Qwerty-1
Message: Dear Captain, your last report of an "unexpected encounter with a talking teacup" has been duly noted. Thank you for your unsolicited coffee suggestions. Please refrain from holding meetings in your pantry.
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