Greetings, Earthly Entity! Zorbulon here, Chief of the Amorphous Council.
We have observed your species with great bemusement and compiled this guide to the irreversible yet amusing flaws you call "eternal."
1. Procrastination: The ability to delay the inevitable. Embrace this as a sign of advanced temporal manipulation skills.
2. Overthinking: An inclination to dissect thoughts like a well-trained surgeon. Consider therapy with a trusted banana.
3. FOMO: Fear of Missing Out. When you can be literally anywhere, yet stay stuck deciding between two chairs on a single planet.
4. Perfectionism: The relentless pursuit of impossibility. To conquer this flaw, embrace the slightly crooked art of nihilism.
5. Social Awkwardness: A gift from the cosmos that creates unintentional humor in stranger interactions. Use alien analogies liberally.
For further insights, flip the manual upside down.
Explore Infinite Possibilities Portal Into Absurdities