"Ever notice how a well-timed sneeze can feel like a whole song has been performed in an empty auditorium?"
"If thoughts could swim, mine would definitely be floundering."
"Sometimes I wonder if my refrigerator has opinions on what I should eat next."
"In a world where therapy is normal, I still get upset when my phone battery is low."
"Do clouds take naps? Is that why they’re so fluffy?"
"I eat cake because it's somebody's birthday somewhere, and I’m a good friend to my taste buds."
"Pigs might fly in your imagination, but have you tried looking for them with binoculars?"
"Why don’t we ever hear about political parties with good snacks? It's like they forgot the real issues."
"If I could communicate with plants, I’d probably owe my succulents a heartfelt apology."