Quasar Portal Activation Attempts

Panel 1: The Meeting

"Okay, team! Who turned off the gravity field in Quasar Portal Room A?"

Mark: "It was either that or get sucked into an interdimensional void. Tried fixing the WiFi, sorry."

Susan: "Does this mean we can't stream the Quasar directly?"

Panel 2: Sketchy Plans

Jim: "I ran the numbers. To open the portal, we need precisely 3.14 gallons of red paint."

Mark: "Isn't that pi?"

Jim: "Exactly, it should be circular. Anyone got a bucket?"

Panel 3: The Experiment

Susan: "We've set the triangle settings to quranic mode. Is that correct, Jim?"

Jim: "Sure, why not. It's as good as any method involving singing at cosmic entities."

Mark (holding a bucket of paint): "I'll stand guard at the portal. Just remember, no pi jokes."

Quasar Portal Blueprint

The activation sequence requires:

This sketch comedy disaster unfolds at the infamous Quasar Portal Timeline page.

For more on the peculiar theories, head to Unlikely Theories.