Dear Time Traveler,
Antimatter cocktails taste even worse at the speed of light. I tried ordering a black hole in a supernova style, but the waiter just blinked out of existence. Can't say I blame him. Remember, gravity is relative but tips should be absoluteness.
Signing off to prevent further temporal confusion,
Your Quasar Concierge
Dear Cosmic Explorer,
If you ever visit the timeless woods, remember to tread lightly. The trees speak in whispers, but they seem to have an aversion to intergalactic puns. Who knew flora had such a damning sense of humor? Mid-morning meditations are best when done in complete silence, which is ironic in a place known for echoes.
Until the next lightyear,
Your Spherical Sage
Dear Spacetime Nomad,
Echoes of yesterday resonate louder in this odd pocket of the universe. I think I just heard last Tuesday complaining about its unresolved Mondays. If only temporal shifts came with a manual on mood swings. No sign of tomorrow, but I assure you it's on the itinerary.
Zipping back to the infinite now,
Mystic Timekeeper