In the absence of presence, can one be? Caught in the quantum state, I ponder.
Professor Quibble: If a tree falls in a quantum superposition, does it win?
Assistant Pluck: Only if it applied for tenure in both realities at once.
The philosopher's stone saw not, neither did it hear, quantum goo left on its desk.
Sky Muse: Behold! The clock ticks backward.
Ground Groan: Alas, the appointments, vacuumed by spacetime!