The Black Rose Vows

Once upon a time in a universe that decided to wear mismatched socks, there existed the Enigmatic Order of the Black Roses. Known locally for their surprising inability to hold a straight face during solemn gatherings, they embarked on a mission: to vow the un-vowable.

"But why black roses?" asked Agnes, skeptic and part-time cloud wrangler. The head of the order, Emeritus Waffle, adjusted his cosmic bowler hat tilted at a 23-degree angle.

"Simply because they refuse to comply with the traditional color codes," he replied, twirling a teacup made from the dreams of distant tavern songs. “And also, they match my coat.”

Thus, at the stroke of the eleventh hour (which coincidentally turned out to be a two-for-one sale on existential crises), the ceremony commenced. The attendees—or more accurately, the bewildered witnesses—stood in a semicircle, half-engaged, half-enthused.

And there amidst the laughter and faintly echoing jazz was the pivotal vow: “I pledge,” began Waffle, “to never verb a noun unadvisedly.” The crowd gasped in ontological shock. How was this possible?

Want more absurdities? Read about the sock revelations or witness the jam beyond time.