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Welcome to the Phantom Respiration Hub, where even the ethereal love to breathe a little. What do specters say every morning?
"I shore am glad ventilation is a thing!"

Join our spirited workshops in spectral aerobics. Unfazed by time, unbothered by space — just float and flex until both arms vanish into the eternal nowhere.

Here's our favorite incantation for a balanced ghostly regimen:

• 1 part ectoplasm
  Immerse carefully to avoid sticky situations.
• 2 parts breathing exercises
  Deep inhalations; book covers good for book collectors.
• 3 parts shimmer
  The right hue can make any haunted house envious. Apply liberally.

Do check your email for the weekly booletin... Can't recall what Microsoft's latest spectral program is named. Perhaps Outlook and Out Again?