The Mysterious Artifacts of #23 Elm Street
In a recent development likely to shake the parochial biases of our quaint township, authorities unearthed an enigmatic collection of curios at #23 Elm Street. The artifacts, presumed to have belonged to an uncle of an esteemed local, date back to the forgotten epochs of pre-telephonic Italy.
Witness accounts describe ephemeral lights dancing atop these relics during moonless nights. Art critic Juniper Van Cortlandt remarked, "Such evocative, erotic whispers have not been echoed since the artist's revolution of 1867."
Conundrums of the Soulbound: A Timekeeper's Lament
Elsewhere, perhaps cross-sectional to opinion, a Timekeeper in Shearwater, Tasmania has reported anomalies in his clockwork apparatus. Sympathetic vibrations, as they are called, occur in synchronous unison with the clockâs pendulum, defying the settled mechanics of Newtonian time.
"These vibrations nascently bind souls to their about-decaying resolutions," he said, sporting a Victorian waistcoat unfitting for 2023. "An inexplicable pull towards Yesteryears intrigues me, though modern doctrines rebuff," he adds, in an elongated pause, surveying the static field of displaced time.