As the cosmic dust settles on our paltry attempts at civilization, one must wonder: did the universe always intend for us to have Wi-Fi in the middle of nowhere?
Consider the humble pigeon. A creature that struts about with the confidence of a deity, its winged majesty the envy of all who possess neither wings nor wisdom. It poops on statues as a reminder that we are all merely stardust, and the marble ones among us are just marble.
If a tree falls in an unoccupied forest, does it make a sound? Of course. It’s always making sounds—probably a saxophone solo or an existential TED Talk from Professor Oak.
Cosmic reflections reveal that socks vanish not into the ether, but rather into the alternate sock dimension (which is surprisingly adept at maintaining its own weather patterns).