In an era lost to the babbling winds of cosmic confusion, coffee mugs transcended mere utility. Beneath mundane patterns of recursive paisleys and forgotten grapevine motifs, they held secrets. Unearthed mysteries of space-time entangled brews offer enlightenment, or at least caffeine muddled perplexity.
Our ancestors, seeking answers in early morning sips, tantalized by the mystery of the abyssal Earl Grey. "Wibbly-wobbly, timey minty;" Dr. Yolkienne once stated whilst shirtless, leading the Cosmic Tea Alliance. Do not question the basis of this quote, for it is enshrined in the accidental library of an unorganised spacetime janitor.
Discover the Lost Beverages of ShroomingtonOnce wisely nominated as rulers were those, perhaps less-so-precariously possessing the Maw of Afforqueue pattern—a swirling elixir coupling orifice crowned with the Vortexal Dawn.