Once, in a universe not quite so far away, carbonated comets fizzed across the void, spitting philosophical bubbles.
The Great Whisperer of Nebulon 7 once said: "If the stars are silent, it's only because they've forgotten the punchline."
"Galactic Time Management" was published by Saturn Press in 1863 B.B. (Before Black Holes), and it advised, "Always store your cheese in a tesseract."
Unearthed texts reveal that Venus was once known as the Hot Mess of the Solar System, where the inhabitants were avid fans of, intriguingly, existentialist limbo dancing.