"If only I could move, I'd marathon to the nearest coffee shop," muses the statue. Ah, the granite grind of daily existence. Perhaps an espresso would shake the dust off? Or at least a mocha shadow!
"Upon this pedestal, I contemplate... where's my pizza delivery?" quips the square statue. Ever tried posing while pecking at a menu on your phone? It's a whole different angle of repose.
"Geometry class is boring," sighs the triangular piece. "I could carve puns into the base, but, alas, it's all set in stone." Punchlines that rock, or rather, stand immobile?