Hyperbolic Lantern Glasses

Perfect for when the moon's humor eclipses your own. Guaranteed to enhance sarcasm by 50%.

Shadow-Absorbing Goggles

Specialized for devouring shadows before they digest you. Optional: extra strength for overzealous shadows.

Starlit Reflection Specs

See the stars reflect on your poor choices. Side effects may include unexpected nostalgia and giggles.