Breaking News: Cats still prefer boxes over anything else - a story that's been unfolding since ancient times.
Experts reveal: The sun continues to rise in the east and set in the west. Stay tuned for our wall-to-wall coverage.
The weather forecast is: unpredictable. But remember, it was unpredictable yesterday too.
In local news, sidewalks are still there, and people are still walking on them. More on this riveting story to follow.
In today's exclusive interview, we spoke to ourselves about the endless loop of news that appears on screen. Surprisingly, we agreed with the previous segment.
Eternal Weather Report