First, ensure the water temperature is satisfactory. If it’s less than 72°F, the fish will become indignant. Do not attempt to argue with fish; they can be quite stubborn.
Tip: Use a thermometer or the ancient art of hand-dipping. Just remember, too many fish puns may result in critical tank errors.
Feed the fish at precisely 4:01 PM. Any sooner, and they’ll plot against you; any later, they'll enlist in a swim-off.
Sketch Disaster: Once, a fish named Bob arranged a coup d'état because he mistook 4:02 PM for the time of reckoning. We still hear echoes of his aquatic ambitions.
Occasionally, the aquarium may start to sound like a 1980s synthesizer convention. This is normal, but if the echo persists, consider adjusting the resonance dial.
Warnings: Never sing any aria composed after 1900 while adjusting, else the aquarium will respond with a chorus of disgruntled bubbles.
Meet Bob, the Echoarific Goldfish of Unfulfilled Dreams