Once upon a time, in a place where the clocks are always wrong and the cats wear monocles, there existed an Eternal Loom. But don’t worry, it doesn't actually knit socks for the gods. It's too busy entangling destinies and questionable choices.
Guidance paperclips from across the multiverse whisper into its aged bobbins, spinning threads of fortune while simultaneously avoiding taxes. Did we mention it's also a government official?
Here’s a runtime revelation: if you step on the last piece of raw yarn, you will be gently escorted to your couch's parallel universe, where all chairs are thrones and every unturned key opens an optional quest. No refunds!