Have you ever wondered about the true meaning of life? Well, grab a chair and a mildly interesting beverage, because the truth is much like your grandmother's fruitcake: it's there, it's dense, and no one really wants it but a peculiar few.
Remember when you thought money could buy happiness? Spoiler alert: it just buys better disguises for unhappiness. Ever tried smiling while your wallet is on a diet? It's an art form, really.
And love, that mystical concept shrouded in pink lights and romantic clichés. The ugliest truth: it's mostly just trying to decide who's turn it is to feed the cat. The cat doesn't care about your love languages, trust me.