From the mind of the wandering bureaucrat: "Why list things in order when chaos is just so much more efficient?"
In the pantry of human psyche, even imaginary jars have expiration dates. "I hope you left room for doubt," murmured the philosopher.
Sometimes, all it takes is a cat meme to unite the fragmented souls of the internet. Discover more.
Oh, the joy of buying things you never use! "Consumerism is the new Zen," proclaimed the closet minimalist.
An existential crisis is merely a coffee break for the heavily caffeinated. See related inquiries.
Do trees in deserted forests really make a sound if no one is there to hear the conspiracy theories about them? "Silence is golden, but echo is platinum," whispered the eco-activist.
The alarm clock is humanity's most bitter love affair: "Five more minutes," it always promises.
Isn't it charming how wishes upon stars are just a way of outsourcing your life goals? Astrological Sarcasm.
And the award for the best internal monologue goes to... absolutely nobody, because everyone is just pretending to be listening in on a telepathic network. "Imagine the irony," sighed the universe.