"I've seen the ages pass, collecting dust and curses alike. They say I hold the secrets of the Tides, but truth be told, all that's captured here are whispers of curators' lunch breaks. The echoes laugh, I weep!"
"Carved from stone but heavy with secrets, I bear witness to the banal rumors of the underworld. No soul escapes my grasp without a tale—most amusingly, the one about the ancient vending machine's propensity to steal five shekels."
"I am the chair of celestial beings, destined to count their unfulfilled dreams. Do you know the Hall of Heavenly Skimmers? I've heard too many profound yet utterly useless things about them from their 'spiritual' seat warmer incidents."