✨ Crystal Clear Surveillance ✨

So, it turns out the government didn't need to invent a super-secret agency for spying on bite-sized snack decisions after all. I mean, did you really think Aunt Marge was hiding anything more than salsa recipes under her floorboards?

But here we are, knee-deep in the latest surveillance crystal technology, where the fizz in your soda pop is now monitored with all the seriousness of a NASA countdown. It's absurd, isn't it? Like trying to catch a fly with a telescope!