Hidden Truths of the Universe

Truth
The universe has a dark secret... it's actually quite light!

The universe whispered the secret: Coffee is the true dark matter; it keeps everything moving in mysterious ways.
Cats were once revered as gods because their purring can summon the quantum dimensions.
Ever wondered why socks disappear? They're actually portals to parallel universes where they are kings and queens!
The real reason behind Mondays? An ancient conspiracy by calendars to sell more Fridays.
Einstein's real discovery was that time is a construct created by the coffee industry to sell more coffee.

The truth shall set you free... but first, a footnote.
Want to dig deeper? Peel back the layers of the cosmic onion.