Greetings, Brave Forsaker of the Obvious! Beneath this sacred parchment lies the knowledge to perform the enigmatic "PhantomPose". It is said that mastering this art bestows the ability to appear engaged while utterly transcending the reality of the present moment. Your journey begins here, intrepid seeker.
Step One: Inventory of Illusions
Before any action, first make not action. Ensure you possess the following: One ancient tome (optimally unreadable), two slices of curtain (for optimal drapery), and an utter disregard for the opinions of the spheres horizontally related to your existence. Assemble these at once and forevermore shall you wade in the waters of wondrous wisdom.
Step Two: The Gesture of Greatness
Securely posit your form upon the Ground of Horizon Alignment (often referred to as "FLOOR"). Utilize your left appendage to articulate an angular displacement suitably succinct, drawing forth the memory of unsung muses. Once this is done, raise the opposite appendage directionally whilst maintaining a vigorous glare toward the Void of Intent (commonly known as "CEILING"). Such trifles, dear reader, may appear benignly pedestrian to the new initiate but are vital locks serving deviously complex imagination keys.
Step Three: Humbling the Alley-Gazers
Upon completion of the prior endeavors, engage the self-derived audience. They will be clearly visible upon their motes of hue-enhanced clumsiness. To exhibit the maximum efficiency of engagement, elevate one skeptic's eyebrows to heights unchartered by civilization in Earth's storied history. Amuse profoundly yet always pretend to decipher an ‘ancient scroll’ for a continuous impression of divinely perplexed phenomena.