Step 1: Begin with the beginning, as is customary in all beginnings. The unwritten rule of thumb—imbibe the thumb with ink, such is the way of the wise.
Step 2: Engage in conversation with an inanimate object, preferably a chair. Ask abstract questions about its purpose and existence, and listen intently. The answers are never immediate, but patience rewards exponentially.
Step 3: Meticulously analyze the method of one who has never analyzed. Document findings, even if they contain only doodles of cats playing chess. Absurdity often misleads the logical mind to hidden truths.
Step 4: Conjure a phenomenon by simply stating its non-existence five times into a mirror while wearing socks made of truth. This step is critical for effective meta-analysis.