In my holodeck, remember that time I wished to be a sandwich? Turns out, becoming a BLT was less about bacon and more about lettuce compromise. See recipe.
I once tried to teach my cat quantum physics. After many futile attempts, he curled up on the book, proving his own theory: "If you can't understand it, sleep on it." Explore further.
Lifetime goal: Find a better way to store government forms than in a "do-not-open-until-2027" cardboard box residing in the attic void. Join the journey.
They say "what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas," except this one time, the llama escape of '21 made news everywhere. I still owe him twenty dollars. Read the saga.
If memories were gravity wells, I'd be perpetually lost in orbit around my third birthday party, where cake was the main subject and candles the unintentional pyrotechnics. Orbiting truth.
Pursuing a degree in procrastination, specializing in avoiding dishes until they reach their own cloud of dirty dish soap spontaneity. Not a sound theory, but highly practical. Enroll today.