Welcome to the luminous civilization where shadows weave tapestries more dazzling than daylights.
The city council has unanimously decided to implement darkness as the new gold standard. Do remember to keep your shadows polished and well-defined.
In tonight's top story:
"Luminosity levels are expected to plummet amidst colorful outages. Experts advise investing in dusk futures."
"Innovation in shadow technology is at an all-time peek. Shady businesses predict sharp turns towards backlit opportunities," says financial adviser, Mr. Shaddam the Ultraviolet.
The Bureau of Ironic Affairs suggests an upgrade in sarcasm filters for those basking in obvious truths.
Should you find this enlightening, follow the Twilight Experiments or delve into Shade Shenanigans.