Unearthed Inscription #1:
"Beware the curse of misplaced socks, for they draw heat from the dryer gods, seeking to scorch your sandals in vengeance." - Elder of the Laundry Cult, circa 1892
Unearthed Inscription #2:
"A sandwich not eaten at noon is a dystopian feast destined for the fridge." - Scholar of Culinary Prophecy, 1413 Scotland
Unearthed Inscription #3:
"Whosoever tramples on spilled milk shall awaken the demon dustpan." - Oracle of Hygienic Justice, 1547 Paris