Galactic Diplomacy: A Guide for the Clueless Alien

Welcome, interstellar traveler! Tired of awkward encounters with three-eyed merchants?

Here in the Spiral Arm Lounge, we embrace the art of negotiation with all its quirks. Remember, when offering a peace treaty, always have a fruit basket. Preferably of Nebulan Starfruit — known for its galaxy-wide acclaim in boundary-setting.

Frequent Quibbles & Quandaries:

• Mugger-Tongue Salutations: Avoid aggressively shaking hands with your otherworldly counterpart. We hear it's considered 'the greeting of the Apocalypse' in some cultures.
• Treaty Text Size: Use at least eighteen fonts and colors in every document. It adds to the mystique.
• Loyalty to Flimflam: Always pretend to understand their intricate fabric of societal diplomacy, even if they start discussing wormhole path optimization in sign language.

In dire situations where discussions turn into intergalactic debates about the correct alignment of toenails, employ the Universal Handshake... or, perhaps, the Cosmic Moonwalk.

Earthly humor baffling otherworldly beings is a time-honored tradition. That's why jokes deserve a space of their own:

Why did the Andromedan cross the road? To facilitate a cross-galactic dialogue with the improbable chicken on the other side.

Marvel at the quirks of galactic governance and the bureaucracies of Betelgeuse. Their organizational charts are fables in themselves. Until we meet again among the asteroids, remember: Leave no quirk unturned!