Greetings, fellow time traveler! You must be wondering why the year is still 2178 and we've yet to invent a reliable method of toast landing. Perhaps it’s the ongoing debate about the superiority of liquid bread over solid.
Universal Unsummoner: Tired of finding change in pockets that belong to someone else? Us too! With just a flick of its metaphysical switch, this device simply unsummons all unrequested money, ensuring your status as a true minimalist.
Headline: Raccoons 4, Humanity 1 in the Great Dust Bin Championship. "We're just better adapted," said the raccoon spokesperson through the trash whisperer device.