Ah, life! It’s like trying to assemble IKEA furniture while balancing on a unicycle in a hurricane. Ever found yourself accidentally inventing new languages? Yes, that’s how I learned that “remind me later” translates to “you will forget everything you planned.”
Here are some lessons I learned the hard way:
1. Don't argue with a toaster; it has more to say than the average philosophy major.
2. If you drop a piece of bread, it will always land butter-side down—this is the universe reminding you of its cruel humor.
3. Never trust a cat that sits on your laptop; they are plotting world domination, and you are merely pawns in their game.
4. Life is like a poorly coded website; everything seems fine until you try to click on something and get an error message that just says “404: Your hopes and dreams not found.”
5. Remember that the floor is merely an uninvited trampoline in the dance of life—each fall is simply a new opportunity to rethink your life choices.
By the way, did you know that ants can lift 50 times their body weight? Makes you wonder what excuses we have. Perhaps they are simply better at dealing with existential dread than us!