As the sun kisses the moon in what humanity has already dubbed 'The Levitating Spectacle of Overhyped Shadows', let's pause to contemplate the disjoint signals being beeped out from across the cosmic wasteland.
📡 "Too much caffeine," croaks the moonbeam in its sardonic Morse code. It seems to cry out for pizza delivery during the celestial masquerade.
Our correspondent, still stuck inside a black hole's existential crisis, speculates that the eclipse has nothing to do with astrology and everything with artisanal lighting choices.
So yes, prepare your snacks and enjoy the spectacle, preferably from a safe distance, say, Mars' parking lot.